I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
pray to the hookup gods
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
