found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
