if i can run in heels then i can drive
my sisters under your porch take her home
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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