But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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