Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize