Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
