that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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