so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
