he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
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