rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
