what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
