It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
