Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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