well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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