by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
