she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
