Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
