I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
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