i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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