im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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