you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
