Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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