I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
