Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
