...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
