By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
