Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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