How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
