so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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