I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
