Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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