Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
