On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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