loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
