i was rollin on her like bob the builder
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
