Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
