Nicole vs. Life
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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