we're blogging at a bar
This girl is more easily done than said...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
