He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
