brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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