i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
