David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize