My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
