I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
