I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
