Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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