He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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