Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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