i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
