So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
