Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
