we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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