Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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