Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Randomize
